


Wherever I Go

by rivendellrose



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 22:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15229080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivendellrose/pseuds/rivendellrose
Summary: Ash and L'Rell have a complicated history, but after Ash goes with her to Qo'noS, their friendship stabilizes into something strong.Technically a little bit Ash/Michael, but only in a "talking about it" sense.





	Wherever I Go

"Fools,” L’Rell muttered darkly as soon as the representatives of the various houses had left the council chamber. “They act as if I will bare my throat to the Federation and hand over all our ships and worlds at the first asking. I should act as if it will be so, tomorrow, just to frighten some sense into them."

"It's your decision," Ash Tyler remarked, stepping forward from the alcove near her seat where he had observed the proceedings, "but if it's all the same to you I'd rather you didn't."

"Why not?"

"As funny as it would be, it sounds like a great way to encourage your enemies into deciding that the loss of Qo'noS might be a price worth paying for your death." He paused to let that settle in, then grinned. "And since that would mean I'd have to die at your side... I'd hate to die for a joke, even if it does relieve your temper for a few minutes."

"You and I against the entire council." L'Rell gave a bitter laugh. "It would be a battle worthy of song. But since we would be unlikely to live to hear anyone sing it, I suppose you're correct that it would be wiser to restrain myself." She stretched luxuriantly, then stepped down from the dais that the chancellor's seat rested on. "Sitting in council all day will make an old woman of me before my time. Will you walk with me?"

"Of course." Ash bowed slightly and gestured for her to proceed him out into the garden.

"There is no 'of course' about it. It is not an order."

"You're the chancellor of the Klingon Empire." Ash smirked. "It doesn't matter much if you phrase something as an order or not..."

L'Rell snorted. "When I ask you a question, I mean it as a question. You play the role of my adviser in council, but in my heart we are equals, as always."

Ash inclined his head and, since it was clear she would not move until they walked side by side, stepped out into the garden shoulder to shoulder with her. At the least, he thought, it meant he would be that much closer to hand if someone made an assassination attempt on their inconvenient new chancellor. "Since we're equals, then, I have a suggestion for you: hire a few good bodyguards for yourself. Or at least one."

Her lip curled. "We have discussed this."

"I know, it's not the action of a warrior. But–"

"This is your Human mind telling you what to say," she interrupted. "Your Klingon heart knows that if I were to hire a guard – of any species – I would lose what little respect I have won from the council and our people in these last months. A Klingon leader does not trust her safety to others. She relies on her wits and her strength. And if she cannot survive on that alone–"

"Then an entire planet of her citizens dies."

A muscle in L'Rell's jaw twitched, and she pressed her lips together as she looked out over the garden and its lush, dark foliage. "That choice was not mine to make."

"I know. But you have to consider it. Besides, you're doing _good things_ for the empire. I don't want that to end because you're too proud to have someone trustworthy watching your back."

She turned back to him with a soft smile that raised so many memories in his mixed-up heart. "I have that already."

"You know I'd die for you, L'Rell. But while I might be stronger than the average Human, I'm... not what I used to be. And Voq was never the strongest warrior to begin with."

She pulled back a little in her eyes and manner, as she always did when he used Voq's name like that, as if he was speaking of another person altogether, but when she spoke again her voice was low and earnest. "He had the courage of ten, and his heart was as strong as any. As is yours. If it were not so, you would never have defeated him."

"I'll take that as the compliment it is," Ash assured her. "But I'd still be happier if I knew you had someone else watching out for you. I'm... I don't have the problems now that I did, but my last stint as a bodyguard didn't end well for anyone involved."

"Accept what is." L'Rell bent and picked up a smooth black stone and turned it over in her hands. "It is all either of us can do now."

Ash nodded and leaned back against one of the trees. "What is... isn't too bad. Right?"

L'Rell said nothing.

"You're chancellor of the Klingon Empire. You have a chance to make a difference, to make the empire better. And you're doing that."

"For myself, my regrets are too far in the past to consider," L'Rell agreed. Then a gleam of curiosity and amusement entered her bright gray eyes. "For you, however, there is still a chance to make better choices. I saw on the docket that Michael Burnham is among the delegation to arrive tomorrow."

"That's... not a choice for me to make, L'Rell. You know that. I explained–"

"I remember what you said of your last conversation with her. And I do not blame either of you for where your relationship was left. You were both still injured, raw from both inner and outer battle, and it was judicious to step back and let her breathe freely." An almost impish smile quirked her lips. "What I disagree with is your belief that you can do nothing now but sit quietly to the side and wait while she tries to forget you."

Ash rolled his eyes. "I didn't say that."

"Not in so many words. But it was the heart of your meaning." L'Rell tossed the stone she had been holding into the bushes. "You are my friend and comrade in arms, so I will not call it cowardice. But I refuse to believe you could so easily give up the love that beat so strongly in you that it defeated all of my and my love's hard work. I would not see that wasted."

"It's not wasted. I'm alive, aren't I?"

"You breathe. Your heart beats, and blood flows." L'Rell set her hand on the center of his chest. "Alive, though? That, I am not sure of. Not while you refuse to pursue what you love."

Ash frowned. Human mores could be difficult to explain to Klingons, who had a much more forthright attitude toward issues of courtship and consent. "Sometimes what you love doesn't want to be pursued anymore."

"I am not telling you to go and beat down her door the night she arrives, howling like a targ in rut." L'Rell shoved him affectionately, and Ash did his best not to stagger. She forgot sometimes, even still after months of spending time together, that he was no longer Klingon. "Nor am I telling you to presume upon her welcome. Go cautiously, and say nothing of your love again until you are sure she would hear it. Be only the brave, loyal friend she remembers from before you joined. But you should let her see that you are not defeated. Show her that you are changed, and have fought your battles within yourself, and that if she allowed it, you would be hers again, and stronger than before."

Ash stared, stunned.

"I know it cannot be that you don't understand me," L'Rell said after a long moment. "So unless we are not the friends I've taken us for and you are angered that I would involve myself in your affairs–"

Unable to speak, Ash interrupted her by clasping her forearm and pulling her close to press his forehead against hers. "No," he said at last. "You are my friend. I just never expected you to say all of that. I cost you your love just by existing as I am now. I couldn't blame you for seeing my loss as fair trade for that."

Her grip on his arm tightened, and she clapped him on the shoulder. "Klingons do not see the world in trades. You know that. Especially not in matters of the heart."

"I know, but–"

"I want you to be happy. Even if it takes you away from me, I would see you possess the love you deserve."

"Thank you, L'Rell." Ash squeezed her arm again, then released her. "Thank you."

"And," she said, her eyes glittering, "if she is so foolish as to refuse you, then wherever I go, you will always have a place at my side. Good or ill, feast or hunger, I will never take wine where the cup is not handed to you as well."

Through Voq's memories, Ash recognized the statement from an old Klingon epic about two blood brothers, and he returned the formulaic response. "Wherever I go, there will be a seat for you with me. And when we draw blades together, may we always be side by side and never facing each other."

"It is enough." L'Rell drew a slow breath, savoring the moment, then turned a little and clapped him on the shoulder. "Come. Since I refuse your wise but too-Human advice to hire a guard, we will spar for a while. That way you will see I can still defend myself, and you won't have too eager a light in your eye when you meet Michael Burnham again tomorrow."

"That way," Ash said, shaking his head wryly, "she'll wonder how I've managed to live here so long, when I’m so covered in bruises."

"I'll be sure not to wound you too much. And avoid your face, since I’ve been told it is a handsome one for a Human."

Ash laughed and shook his head as he fell into step beside her. "Thanks for that."

"You're welcome."

"If you could avoid any vital organs, too, that'd be great. And I'd love it if I didn't walk with a limp tomorrow..."

"This is good practice for the Starfleet diplomats' visit tomorrow," L'Rell told him, tossing her head proudly as they walked through the council chamber to her private rooms. "I will remember that Humans are compelled to ask too much."

"And you claim to want to help my chances..."

She snorted. "Perhaps she will take pity on you if you are wounded."

"Oh, I see how it is."

L'Rell laughed, and tossed him a blunt-edged practice sword from the wall, then took another down for herself. "Fight me, then, to prove I am wrong. Perhaps I will take pity on you if you make a strong enough start."

"Perhaps?" Ash tested the weight of the sword and adjusted his stance opposite her. "No promises anymore? Just a minute ago we were talking like the greatest blood brothers in history."

"I do this for you," she said, grinning. "If you will stand at my side, especially now, you must be able to defend yourself. And, as you yourself said, you are no longer Klingon. So you require a great deal of practice."

Ash pretended to adjust his stance again, and instead threw himself at her. Their blades clashed together, joined by a crow of her laughter as she easily parried his blow.

 _I hope it’s always like this_ , Ash thought. _Even if I go back to the Federation somehow, someday... if we fight, I hope it's always just like this. Both laughing, and never really on opposing sides._

The sounds of their blades and their voices – sometimes laughing, sometimes raised in friendly mockery or exaggerated howls of triumph and defeat – echoed through the chambers, and whatever changed the next day, and the days after that, it was clear that, for the time, their friendship was as strong as something out of the old epics.


End file.
